return
Its been 3 days since I returned to Australia. Not excited at all.
I recall the time when I took my first flight to Australia in Feb '06. I was so excited because I knew there was abundant opportunities and new experiences waiting for me. Although I left home in a hurry back then, I was eager for change.
This February, I was not eager at all, and I was afraid to return. I feared that I will be weak, lose my grip and slip back down in my climb out of the deep end. In fact, this is the first time I was not eager to start the year, especially abroad.
Be strong.
So I tried to swallow the past and face reality head on. When I reached canberra, I hit the floor running. Enrolment, subject choice, bank stuff, food, society stuff - before I realised, it was already time for dinner. I left my SIM at home so I was out of reach for the whole day. Just when I wanted to settle down for the night and get some rest, my korean friend came by and dragged me out to the city.
Face reality. Head-on.
I really didn't want to hit the night scene, but he kept persuading me. Well, ok. I went and came back, but while I was there, memories flashed by my very eyes, and the night seemed to go by so slowly. Same thing next night, went to same place and just being in the crowd was hard. My friend thinks this is necessary, I think I agree with him. Watching memories replay is certainly not a pleasant experience. I felt powerless because I kept falling. Right at my lowest point, I'm glad there are people who held on with me. I was reminded of these verses
Romans 5:3-5 "3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you"
Thank you God for showering me with blessings, though I may not realise them sometimes.
Dear Lord, speak to me and show me your ways. Give me strength to endure these temptations of the past. Renew me and rebuild me. God I know you called me to service this year, Lord I pray that you guide me in my service for you.
I recall the time when I took my first flight to Australia in Feb '06. I was so excited because I knew there was abundant opportunities and new experiences waiting for me. Although I left home in a hurry back then, I was eager for change.
This February, I was not eager at all, and I was afraid to return. I feared that I will be weak, lose my grip and slip back down in my climb out of the deep end. In fact, this is the first time I was not eager to start the year, especially abroad.
Be strong.
So I tried to swallow the past and face reality head on. When I reached canberra, I hit the floor running. Enrolment, subject choice, bank stuff, food, society stuff - before I realised, it was already time for dinner. I left my SIM at home so I was out of reach for the whole day. Just when I wanted to settle down for the night and get some rest, my korean friend came by and dragged me out to the city.
Face reality. Head-on.
I really didn't want to hit the night scene, but he kept persuading me. Well, ok. I went and came back, but while I was there, memories flashed by my very eyes, and the night seemed to go by so slowly. Same thing next night, went to same place and just being in the crowd was hard. My friend thinks this is necessary, I think I agree with him. Watching memories replay is certainly not a pleasant experience. I felt powerless because I kept falling. Right at my lowest point, I'm glad there are people who held on with me. I was reminded of these verses
Romans 5:3-5 "3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you"
Thank you God for showering me with blessings, though I may not realise them sometimes.
Dear Lord, speak to me and show me your ways. Give me strength to endure these temptations of the past. Renew me and rebuild me. God I know you called me to service this year, Lord I pray that you guide me in my service for you.
What can wash away our sins?
What can make us whole again?
What can wash us pure as snow
Welcomed as the friends of God..
..Nothing but the blood of Jesus
thoughts of tanoshi at 9:45 PM
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